I have been sad today because I think of Ella. I think of how she loved chasing the ball and the day I threw the ball to have her just stare in the distance, frozen and unable or not willing to run. I am thinking of the dog stroller in my closet. Would she be in the stroller, in my arms? I think about how nice it has been to have Elton next to me snuggled up on the sofa or in the bed letting me touch him. How I longed for just a few minutes of Ella to be close to me but she didn't like to be touched anymore. I would be on the sofa and she on the top and I would just have my arm stretched just to touch her and be connected.
I will leave work and wipe my tears and take Elton to the top of the roof tonight. I will throw the tennis ball and watch him run but I will imagine Ella in the wind next to him running just as fast and smiling with me.
