but mommy, i'm special too

When I was thinking of adopting elton, I was scared that no matter how perfect or special another cavalier was, they would never be as close to me as ella was. Would that be fair? Would I be able to give another cavalier enough love? I figured that there is always a special cavalier or dog that no dog or anyone will replace, but that should not mean that I will never have another.

Elton looks at me and his say, I need you too. I cry thinking about why have I not given up the fight for SM, when I have a little boy that gives me so much joy but he needs me in a different way.  I took him to the vet last Friday because it has concerned me about him chasing his tail. Yes, some think this is a cute quirk but I'm starting to feel sad. Is he still anxious with the adjustment? Have I not made the transition easy or have I not given him the classes and attention that he needs because he needs?

I decided to get a referal to a behavioralist. He is one of the best in the country. I think it would be good to talk to him to see if his behavior is related to OCD. I don't think I'm over reacting but I want to give him my all. I've been sad lately. He needs more activity than ella did but have I not gone on enough walks? I need to adjust things for him.

I have been talking about obedience training and getting involved with activites like agility and other things, but classes have just come out with a fall schedule.

I am sad because some family meet elton. They said that ella was just so special. I know she was but so is elton. He is different but he has his own special qualities.  I know I felt the same way but I started to get upset. Elton isn't ella but he is a ball of fire. Ella was extremely docile and inactive but a lot of that had to do with her SM. Elton needs more attention, stimulation and playtime. He can't sit at the front of the vet's office like ella but he can run, jump, dance and is a monkey.

My nephew saw his special quality when he stayed with them recently. He was so happy because he taught him a trick. He said he taught him to dance. He said he has to do it in the morning because he is "more wild". He could not say elton but called him "hellton". Yet he is just active and wants to play. He would run outside and go to the birdfeeder to make them all flock. He loves playing tug of war. He does all of these cute things but is never "bad". He just wants to play.

I am worried about his behavior a little bit because he growled and I don't know if something is going on. So my little munchkin is special too. He also has stolen my heart and I know we will learn together how to adjust to each other. He has made his place here and has his favorite toys and his own mark here. I couldn't imagine my home without him.

I miss my cavalier friends that I got to know because of ellas SM, but maybe I will meet others that can help me with learning how to train and what fun things we can do or I can to help stimulate his wild, active personality.

Happy Days Again! Meet my new Munchkin Elton!

I don’t know why it has taking me so long to post the news but I have been wanting to make his introduction “paw”fect, but I just gave up because he has been wanting to make his debut! \

Elton lost his family and needed a home and someone to love him. I had Ella and needed to have someone to love. It was a match made in Heaven! Elton’s family had to move overseas due to being in the military. What a sad thing for him to come from a loving home and for his parents to have to give him to another home because he could not come with them  I hope that I can make him happy even though I am sure he misses the family he once had. However, from the way we bonded so fast and his constant smiles, I think he is okay!

Elton entered ACKCSC Rescue Trust and was staying with a friend of mine Sharon who was fostering him. She posted pictures on Facebook but I don’t know if something told me to e-mail her and ask about him, but I did. She told me he was very social which is a must for any Cavalier I would want because going to the Dog Bar and dog pawties are some of my favorite things. I am getting excited just thinking of planning a pawty or going on a dog social outing.



Elton is a very small package with tons of energy! He only weighs 11 lbs! This is smaller than the standard but it matches his frame so he is not underweight. He is definitely keeping me on my toes! He jumps from the chair to the coffee table down the hall and it is amazing to watch!



Last night, I was eating something but wasn’t quite done so I put it on top of my computer desk. I left the room and was told he had climbed from the sofa and was trying to get the food on top of the desk!!! I think he might be a good candidate to try agility.



His previous owners told Sharon that he loved going on walks. That is perfect since I live in an apartment without a yard so we have taken many walks around the neighborhood. Since he came from a military family, I was told that they said “last call!” right before bed and he would run to the door to do any last minute “business”.



I can’t quite understand but he loves to get completely under the covers at night. I am just so thankful to have a snuggle buddy. I feel like Elton brought energy back into my life. We are learning things together and might try our hand at rally or obedience classes. There are many things we can do together and this is looking like the start of a beautiful journey.

More about Rescue, pictures and adventures to come

A Dog’s in Pain, it’s in Pain. Know What’s Going on and Treat Symptoms

Ok, my post title is not the best but I think this is a very important topic.  A couple of things have been bothering me lately. You would think that when Ella passed away, I would forget about SM but it’s on my mind everyday like the awareness bracelette a kind friend gave me.  

 Sometimes we need to look at things from what your dog is saying.

There's nothing wrong with Ella, she's not like those videos! You and your neurologist are wrong....

Look at Ella's eyes in the picture above. It's not the best picture but maybe you can see something in her eyes? You can't make it out but I could look into her eyes and know how she felt.  Just because Ella did not scream in pain, scratch so much, or some other things, did not mean that she did not have this sad look on her face. I knew something was wrong deep down and that is why no matter what people said, I knew she needed help.  She was able to get treatment and things were adjusted to have days where she was so happy.

Does the picture above look like a dog in pain? She was being treated and that treatment had to be adjusted accordingly. First and foremost she needed to be treated. So why am I telling you all of this? Well when Ella was first diagnosed, I was hung up on the words "severe SM". I looked at books, tried to figure out her syrinx location, how wide it was, what her prognosis was etc. but take all of that away and what really mattered was this SMILE.

Now I know that Severe SM are just words. This may shock some but I never thought about her true diagnosis CM/SM. I just jumped to the SM. You see the word Syringomyelia talked about a lot and now little by little people are starting to talk more about CM (Chiari Malformation). Sometimes I don't know if it was her CM or her SM that was causing her pain. Why does it matter now? Well, I have friends that have Cavaliers with CM alone that act like Ella did.

I can not describe what it is like to have a dog with CM only and still exhibit signs of severe SM? I can tell you that I DO know what it was like when people thought I must be wrong and Ella is fine. Whether it was severe SM, the CM she was not fine and that is why you need to know what's going on.  Here is the best post and a must read so you can understand that SM awareness should be CM/SM awareness or just support for those that have dogs in pain. You know even if a MRI says it's mild, if the Cavalier or dog is not doing well, then well that's not good. Next time you hear someone say the MRI should no SM or mild, but they were describing a dog with severe symptoms, think of that and not just the diagnosis.

Please read Miss Kodee's Blog Post below and this wonderful post and also check out link for "How to Tell if Your Dog is in Pain" 

That Dirty Word in the CKCS Worldl; Chiari-like Malformation

Below is a picture of Ella and I on her last day on Earth. CM/SM did not take her life, but more on that later...I knew something was wrong but did I miss something?

learn from ella; the 4th of july. take time to enjoy life

Enjoying the water and surfing (not quite)


This is a tough time for me because every year my family goes to pawleys island for the 4th of july. All my brothers and sisters (besides my half-brother on my fathers side) is there with their husbands or wives along with their children. I don't have a husband and children, I had ella. That why its hard but I want to tell this story because there is a lesson learned from last year.


Last year ella had a blast! She would spend part of the day at day care because mom didn't want her in the house, but I would pick her up and drop her off several times a day. Its very hot so she couldn't be outside all day. I was extremely protective of her with her SM, but I let that go when I saw how happy she was playing on the beach with everyone.


These memories are so valuable now but also was what I learned. She had several days of activity which can aggravate some and it had a toll on her.  All those fun times we had added up and when the 4th of july came, she had one of the worse days.


This is the post I wrote last year that explains exactly what I was feeling at the time. http://fightforella.blogspot.com/2010/07/4th-of-july-and-suddenly-dont-feel-like.html She would not move and she was rubbing her face. I could see the pain in her eyes and it killed me. She mostly slept but she went from this happy cavalier to one that was hurting. I felt so guilty, scared, upset and I wanted to take it back. How could I do that to her? Thinking back, its not that I *made* her run. I didn't make her do anything, she did it herself and loved being around everyone and playing. If she didn't, I would have taken her back to day care because I was at this time extremely limiting her activity and protective of her.


I cried and cried all day. The night of the 4th, my sisters family and I go to my dads house. There is a dinner with tons of people, jump castles and games for the children, music, drinks and dancing for the adults. The night ends with one of the most beautiful display of fireworks that I can her the oohs and ahhs as I write this.


I don't even think I could eat. I told everyone I had to go back to the house to be with ella. Ella was asleep and was fine but I needed to be with her. I felt so bad and I just couldn't enjoy anything without her. We snuggled together and then when I started to hear the fireworks in the distance, we went outside to look. I walked a little up the street, standing on my toes and trying to see it through the trees.


The next morning ella was back to herself. I wrote to a group about this and how terrible I felt. I remember one guy said something that I will remember forever. He asked me if I ever have done something that I really enjoyed but felt bad the next day but would still do it again if you could? I thought of dinner and wine with my girlfriends staying up late chatting and having fun. The next day, I would be tired but it was worth it. We have all had those times. Maybe snow skiing and waking up sore but it was so much fun.


Granted this week was a little too much but the moral of the story is something that I valued. I started to take time to let ella enjoy things in life. She loved going to the park, playing with other dogs, chasing birds, and holding her back for fear that it would be too much wouldn't be a life for her. I was well tuned in to how she was doing and when enough was enough. I am glad I made myself not keep her from doing things and actually take time to actually do things each day.

Pawley's Island Parade

Nana (mom) and Ella

Looking for sea shells in the surf- One of her favorite things!

Look at that smile! How much fun she was having!

Looking for birds and enjoying the scene

Maybe I see a fish

Watching Bobby ride a wave in

Got to be where the action is and make sure that everyone is ok. I'm a good watch dog!

Can you spot Ella? 

Some of my family enjoying the parade

Learn from ella; its ok to have fun and take a break to enjoy life.

The Angel Oak

The day I met Ella for the first time was also the first time I saw “The Angel Oak.” The Angel Oak is an oak tree that is thought to be over 1500 years old. It has survived hurricanes, earthquakes, floods and is said to be one of the oldest things living or man made east of the Rockies.




My mom and I went to meet Ella’s breeder and see the puppies she had available. The trip took us on a detour to John’s Island, SC. My mom had spent her summers on John’s Island at her Grandmother’s house. She talked of those days with a light in her eyes and a youthfulness I had not seen before. Mom never talked about her past because her mom and dad had both passed away when she was young. I think the pain is still there so it hurts her to remember or maybe she doesn’t. She never really talked about things no matter how much I asked or wanted to know. However, this day was different and I could see the good memories flood through my mom’s head.



Ella gave me that. She gave me the time with mom and the memories she had that she told me as we passed over a bridge or by a market that was once there.



Our day ended at the church where her Grandparents graves were. She asked me if I had ever seen “the Tree”. I went to College of Charleston and I had heard of the Angel Oak, but I never saw it. It was right around the corner from the church so we went to see it.



The sight was breathtaking. This massive tree has limbs the size of trees that reach back to the ground. This is something that has stood the test of time and has made it despite the odds. Why is it that this one tree has made it this long? I can’t remember if we went to see the Angel Oak and then mom told me to stop at the church later? What if we never went that day together? Would I have known about this little church where my Great Grandparents graves were? Would I have learned about those summers my mom had with her grandmother who loved to play cards? Would we both travel back in time to a place filled with good childhood memories and a time that I can only imagine?



Thank you Ella for giving me that day and those moments with mom to visit the Angel Oak that was there as it has been for the past 1500 years.