Last night, I couldn’t sleep. I had Ella resting on top of my pillow and heard the familiar sound of her breathing. I wanted to grab her, kiss her to death, and make that feeling and sound remain in time. I started to think of what it would feel like without that lump on my pillow, sound in my ear, heartbeat, and even the smell of her breathe. That’s when I started to cry and my pillow became wet.
Shouldn’t I be excited to think that she has made it to her birthday, a day I did not think she would reach? Yes we made this milestone but deep inside, I would love to prove my fears wrong that this will definitely be her last. I am so scared. Sometimes it’s easier to get consumed in other things then for me to think what does the development of scar tissue mean for Ella? So let’s go back to birthdays because that is when I first realized something was wrong with her.
It was Ella’s 3rd birthday and I invited people to her birthday party when I noticed she wasn’t playing like herself.
Did I even celebrate Ella’s 4th birthday? I remember her recovering and I had wrote a post about being excited about meeting someone in my area on a support group. That night quickly turned to tears when I noticed something was wrong and I went to the dog bar and broke down in tears.
I read back and I see the numbers. The size of the syrinx I thought increased from .3 to .5 in a span of 6 months and with surgery. Dr. Brofman sent more images and said he did not see that much of a difference. I don’t know but I do know that scar tissue is not a good thing. I do know that surgery gave me time to figure out medication. I don’t know what her future holds. I don’t know if I can manage my future without her.
Ella was diagnosed with Syringomyelia and taught me more in her short life about how to live life to the fullest, love with all your heart, and learn from each other.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
3 Little Cavaliers… How one puppy led to three
Shannon back in August through Cavalier Talk when she posted about her puppy Flash and being concerned about Flash showing signs of SM. Since then so many things have led up to the devastating news this week that Blitz has heartworm disease, severe CM and SM, and the list goes on. Who is Blitz you might ask since the story started with Flash. Blitz is Flash’s father who Shannon rescued after learning about Flash.
· Talking to the Breeder
Shannon will write a post for me but from talking to the breeder she was concerned for Flashes parents since the breeder has several breeds and knew nothing about health issues. What if this breeder continues to breed them? Should she buy the parents which will support the breeder? How do you save them from puppy mills without supporting the person doing this?
After fighting the breeder gave Flashes parents to her. Now she was faced with two Cavaliers in very poor health. Matts, teeth being lost from chewing on cages to get out and not to mention heartworms. She took these scared, extremely thin Cavaliers and made them family.
· That bring us to today
Blitz is so much happier to be recovered from those conditions but he doesn't know that his condition is not good and will need surgery.
So please say a prayer for Shannon and her 3 Cavaliers. I will be praying for them.