Loving wings

 Watch "DMB Benaroya Loving Wings 10.24.02" on YouTube 

This song is so special to me. At a time in my life ella came to me. She showed me light and opened my heart. I owe everything to her. She was so special.

"My heart is made of broken bones

My soul a bag of stick and stone

But you along this dusty road

Come my love to take me home

I give to you my everything

Youve given me these loving wings

And angels have all gathered 'round

To hear me sing my love out load

You lightly lifted me away

Above the darkness cold and grey

Worked beneath the mid-day sun

Cool blue water you have come

I give to you my everything

Youve given me these loving wings

And angels have all gathered 'round

To hear me sing my love out loud

So take your place here next to me

Ill take my place next to thee

No matter how far we may roam

It's by your side i make my home"

Dave matthews band

She will always be with me. Its been a very tough year. I gave her all i could and i owe everything to her coming into my life. Although i have no regrets to dedicating this past year to her, being with her, learning about this condition, and fighting for her, i got to a low point. i just couldnt be without her and anything else didnt matter. It was all i thought about and cared about.

My family is amazing and i know ella touched them too. So in the end i had to give her wings to be released from pain but the bond we shared will be with me always. Its hard but i feel her with me and shes telling me she is with me and its ok. She lifted me out of darkness when i met her and even though i feel pain from losing her that i may never get over, she is guiding me back to where i need to be.  I need to let that love open me up to others.

Which leads me to my next post.