I write more frequently now because I'm so terrified that I will forget even though I know I will never forget her. What did I because she is getting worse. The medications do not seem to help and if she is getting worse then why did her neurologist take her off one of her medications? Is he losing hope too? I don't know how I will handle losing her. The only thing that seems to help her is acupuncture which just may help with the pain. I have pain too and Ella is simply too tired to help. What was my only comfort now feels like is slipping away.
I am so happy to read that Riley is doing good on medications but what is wrong with Ella that it is not helping her? I want to be strong for the others but I feel a heavy weight on my chest and it's not her. She is now wanting to be alone sometimes. Last night she hid under a chair. I believe acupuncture helps but for how long will she manage? I would give her anything I can possibly offer her. Without her is something I refuse to think about.
I have shed so many tears and have so much sorrow. I have tried to think of anything I can to help someone not go through this, anything to keep my mind off of thinking the day I lose her. She may get better and these past couple of days could just be a set back but this is my baby. I can't let anything happen to her. Fight Ella and I will be strong for you. At least I will try my hardest.
Ella was diagnosed with Syringomyelia and taught me more in her short life about how to live life to the fullest, love with all your heart, and learn from each other.